When I think of a good life, two words that come to mind for me are gratitude and curiosity.
According to positive psychology research, when people write down or recall three specific things they are grateful (thankful) for every day, they become happier. I’ve done this in my own daily life and can confirm that it makes a big difference.
As someone who has experienced depression at different times in my life, I enjoy finding ways to remind myself that, yes, my life is actually really pretty great!
Reflecting on the small things is important.
Things like morning coffee, a sunny day, a walk in the park, a smile from a stranger, comfortable shoes, playing with my son, a text from a friend, a delicious meal… These may be small, but they are the building blocks of a rich life we can enjoy.
Naming the bigger things can also help us remember how lucky we are.
Things like… living in a safe country, having a stable job, having good health, family, friends, or the fact that we live in period in history with such amazing healthcare, peace, and technological advances and convenience.
Just think – from a safe, moving train we can watch a high-quality video about any topic from anywhere in the world that was published just seconds before. Or the fact that we can make a live video call with a friend anywhere in the world at any time. Have a question about anything? Just Google it or ask Chat GPT. Just unbelievable!
Of course, we all struggle with various health, work, or relationship issues. We shouldn’t ignore or minimize these real issues. As we face them, we can find a balance of recognizing the uncomfortable emotions while at the same time appreciating the things in life that can help us deal with them.
At times in my life I’ve felt negative, apathetic, or just complained a lot...
I’m so lonely. I’m so tired of people.
I’m so busy and stressed. I’m so bored and feel no meaning.
I can’t get the promotion. I have too much responsibility.
I wish I had a partner and kids. I wish I were single and free.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
In other words, we often want what we don’t have and forget the beauty that we already possess. We often compare our lives with other people’s “happy” or “successful” pictures on social media.
But what if you view it this way: List the best things, experiences, and people in your life. Now, imagine if tomorrow those things completely disappeared. How would you feel? Doesn’t that put things into perspective?
Instead of complaining or living from a place of scarcity, you have the invitation to live from a place of gratitude and abundance. Life will never be perfect. Nobody has a perfect life. So how will you frame your life each day?
Having a mindset of gratitude and “enoughness” can help us feel content. And, it can make us want to share our blessings with others. Interestingly enough, when people give gifts, give compliments, or volunteer, do you know what? It makes them happier.
In addition to feeling happier, communicating our specific gratitude directly to someone in our life can help that person feel happy, appreciated, and valuable. Expressing gratitude makes us all happier and creates a great connection.
But what about if you’re really unsatisfied with your life or a certain aspect of your life, work, or relationship with someone? This is a real problem.
My solution? Curiosity.
With curiosity, we have the opportunity to step back and see the big picture with endless potential options. Curiosity also allows us to examine our situation with openness, understanding, and possibility.
One time-management strategy that Google implemented in the past was “Twenty Percent Time.” This was a policy that allowed programmers at Google to spend twenty percent of their work time exploring, experimenting, and following their curiosity on any ideas or projects that could benefit the company in some way.
This Twenty Percent Time helped start Gmail, AdSense, and other valuable Google services. Not only that, it also helped employees feel trusted, motivated, made them feel more creative freedom and increased job satisfaction.
Curiosity is good for business and good for employee satisfaction.
Now let’s take a personal example of how a little bit of curiosity about a romantic relationship changed my life…
When I was living in India, I was really interested in a former coworker and friend who was living in Japan. I had been very interested in her for a long time, but I didn’t think starting a relationship with her was practical. Also, I thought she would probably reject me since she was so amazing!
But I couldn’t help but follow my curiosity. What if she actually was interested in me? What if our common values and passions could actually bring us into a long-term relationship or even marriage? What if we could figure out a way to live in the same country and spend our lives together? What if this dream could be real life?
So I told her over email that I was interested in her and that I would love to communicate more and even visit her at some point if she was open.
Her reply? Well, she didn’t completely reject me and she didn’t invite me to Japan. But she did say she appreciated my kind words and interest even though “now” wasn’t a good time to start a relationship.
So I waited. We kept communicating. She became more and more open. Eventually I visited her in Japan one time, and then a second time. In the end? I moved to Japan to marry her! All because I was curious about this amazing woman and took a little risk to pursue her. It changed my entire life forever.
After I moved to Japan, I had to shift my career from the NGO sector to something new. While I started by working for a Japanese education startup, I wasn’t satisfied. I began picking up some private English students and began asking “What if…?”
“What if I start a class at my house?”
I wondered how I could combine English-teaching with my interests, experiences, and passions around creativity, global awareness, cross-cultural communication, and improving people’s lives.
After my experimental home-based class filled up, I soon opened another class at my house, and then two more soon after at a rental space. Finally, I quit my job and started Bridge Beyond English in Motomachi.
By following my natural curiosity and passion, I was able to reshape my skills, experiences, and interests into my new business. And here I am today.
Ok, so Google’s Twenty Percent Time, my love story, and starting my own business may seem like far-away examples of curiosity that don’t fit into your work or life.
So how can you practice small, daily curiosity in ways that might improve or enhance your life?
My advice is: Just ask little questions. Start with “What if?”
What if you watch a movie you wouldn’t normally watch? What if you share your honest opinion at a work meeting? What if you asked your boss if you could work on a different project? What if you applied to your dream job with no expectations?
Or, look at your daily routine. What if you tried reading the news from a different online source? What if you try a new or unique restaurant? What if you invite coworkers you don’t know well to have lunch, dinner, or coffee? What if I you watched a YouTube video about a topic that is interesting to you even if it’s a waste of time? (Ok, maybe you already do that and waste too much time!)
What if you identify something you really love and then focus a deeper, curious energy on it?
For example, you might like French food. Find a French cooking class, start studying French, read books about France’s history, culture, films, or politics. Find an in-person or online group that is focused on French food or culture.
If you identify what you are naturally curious about and then explore it with energy, you may find that it’s really freeing and inspiring. Don’t let time or money hold you back. Give yourself permission to spend time, money, and energy engaging in all these France-related things.
Perhaps you’re also interested in business innovation. Maybe you can combine your interest in France with French business culture and innovation. What might you learn along the way? How might this impact your life or your work? You may never know until you follow your curiosity and connect the experiences together. Be careful, because you might end up starting a restaurant business in France if you’re not careful! And, you might go bankrupt. Or, you might succeed and find joy beyond what you imagined was possible.
Even though you might often feel stressed or stuck in life, you don’t have to stay there.
Give yourself permission to follow your curiosity so you can enjoy life and discover new possibilities.
Practicing daily gratitude helps us recognize and appreciate the good in our lives. Expressing gratitude increases our happiness, other people’s happiness, and strengthens our connection with them. Following our natural curiosity even in small ways can lead us to new adventures and relationships. Living with this balance of gratitude and curiosity might give you a whole new experience and perspective on life. I know it has for me.
So, ask these two questions every single day:
What am I grateful for? And… What if…?
Connect with the world.
Become a global communicator today!
(online or in Yokohama-Motomachi)
to expand your:
creative thinking
global awareness
cross-cultural communication
(Advanced and intermediate only)
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